Comments on: Chapter Fourteen

By: lexis

lexis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:34:23 +0000

I like how he is starting to consider James and Ketzal as family. They’ve been through a lot together but this really brings it together. It kind of makes it awkward for Ketzal if she’s really in love with him, though!

By: lexis

lexis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:32:18 +0000

How can she admire Will for being strong? She’s the one with the hurt leg who has to walk around. He orders people a lot.

By: tacos10

tacos10 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:29:38 +0000

I love this paragraph because it’s not only funny but also true!

By: SR

SR — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:29:06 +0000

i think that the part about James saying Will should have to go get water is sort of…heartless or unrealistic because it says that Will’s hand is still pouring out blood so he obviously wouldn’t be able to get water.

By: tacos10

tacos10 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:28:28 +0000

I like the image in this paragraph but the den needs to be described a little bit more.

By: 19113

19113 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:12:18 +0000

Nice job, I think that the story is moving right along.

By: jonpotts

jonpotts — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:40:37 +0000

I have two favorite parts of this scene. One is the dilemma Ketzal faces in choosing sides–aren’t these moments really where the story happens? The second great moment is the way the author used the stream to create action to show James preparing to go, rather than simply having him shout something and run away. Fabulous.
–JP