Comments for Harwood English Review Online

Comment on Chapter Seventeen by cookies 'n' creeeeam

cookies 'n' creeeeam — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:01:07 +0000

You said “deer” a lot in this paragraph and the previous ones. It sounds a little awkward. Maybe you could use a word like buck.

Comment on Chapter Six by lexis

lexis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:42:17 +0000

Ummm, it might be a good idea to put in some breaks. A few more periods and commas would give the reader a chance to breathe!

Comment on Chapter Eighteen by lexis

lexis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:36:28 +0000

I like how Ketzal can see right through Sally’s act.

Comment on Chapter Fourteen by lexis

lexis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:34:23 +0000

I like how he is starting to consider James and Ketzal as family. They’ve been through a lot together but this really brings it together. It kind of makes it awkward for Ketzal if she’s really in love with him, though!

Comment on Chapter Fourteen by lexis

lexis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:32:18 +0000

How can she admire Will for being strong? She’s the one with the hurt leg who has to walk around. He orders people a lot.

Comment on Chapter Fourteen by tacos10

tacos10 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:29:38 +0000

I love this paragraph because it’s not only funny but also true!

Comment on Chapter Fourteen by SR

SR — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:29:06 +0000

i think that the part about James saying Will should have to go get water is sort of…heartless or unrealistic because it says that Will’s hand is still pouring out blood so he obviously wouldn’t be able to get water.

Comment on Chapter Fourteen by tacos10

tacos10 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:28:28 +0000

I like the image in this paragraph but the den needs to be described a little bit more.

Comment on Chapter Fifteen by SR

SR — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:26:30 +0000

i like how there’s a lot of stuff in this part about Will caring about Sally.

Comment on Chapter Fifteen by fredflintstone

fredflintstone — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:25:44 +0000

You have a lot of great detail but I think that you could add a little bit more to the scene. Such as why she fainted or how she looked while she was lying on the ground.